Worst day ever happened yesterday

2021.09.24 12:04 Wild_Tear_3050 Worst day ever happened yesterday

Omg. I did something I hate myself for yesterday. I am having a hard time even typing it. But I dropped the f bomb on a pre-teen. God what the hell I can’t with this sh*t. :( I feel horrible.
Context: Upstairs seems to have a rotating group of tenants living above me. Since I moved there I have been quiet, not doing anything noisy beyond typing or doing dishes. Neighbours upstairs stomp, bang and swear. I ignored it until they started making random personal attacks swearing at me or insulting me. They would say f your mom or that I’m ugly or a nerd or say a homophobic slur. So I started wearing headphones. Then the kid showed up. This kid would go batsht crazy about my typing and do all the aforementioned behaviours of adult tenants x10. They would alternate between storming around upstairs to running outside and screaming insults, slamming the car doors repeatedly or honking the car horn. They would tell whatever they could think of like since I wear a plain hat most of the time out of self consciousness of my hair, they’d yell insults that I needed some hair. Child arrived and started acting out in early August, seeming to be here on random days of the week, I have no clue what the situation is. Well yesterday was it for me and while they were freaking the fck out and screaming upstairs I said at medium volume why don’t you just F off. I hate myself. The kid is badly behaved but I feel like a horrible person and I have to live with this now. You just don’t say these things to kids, it’s forbidden and can be traumatic to them no matter what provoked it. I was dealing with such intense awful feelings yesterday that I also self harmed.
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2021.09.24 12:04 gr8fullyded I tried to give GPT-3 a supersmart gf and this happened DX

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